


Lets It Out

by rosymamacita



Series: Alpha Male Celebration [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Jobi Nuts, Moonshine, after the list, get that drink finally, if she didn't nuzzle his hand, under the influence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-11-02 13:48:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10945794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosymamacita/pseuds/rosymamacita
Summary: After making The List, saving 100 souls and dooming the rest, Clarke just wants to forget everything, and she convinced Bellamy to finally get that drink. But it seems when you forget about all your problems a bit, some other things like desire and love float up to the surface.





	Lets It Out

**Author's Note:**

> vkjazzy said:  
> Bellarke prompt for Bob's Alpha celebration! Clarke is team Party. Bellamy is team survive. Clarke lures Bell to the dark side for a night ;) Moonshine and Jobi nuts are required please and thank you!
> 
> I’m going to have to move things around here, because I can’t get it to fit with the party we saw. So. Let’s imagine things went a little bit differently before they went a little bit wrong. (if you think I need better tags/warnings for this, can you tell me? I'm not sure if this counts as ambiguous consent. i tried to make the under the influence clear. is it clear enough?)

Clarke had tears rolling down her cheeks. It was too much. Putting her own name on a list and leaving someone else out to die. Putting Bellamy’s name, yes. She would do anything for him, but her own? The act shuddered through her. 

Bellamy rested his hand on her shoulder, reminding her that she wasn’t alone. That he wouldn’t leave her name off the list.

It was too much.

She covered his hand with her own. She would have liked to kiss it instead, but it was too much, with the list of salvation in front of her and the names that weren’t chosen dancing in her head.

Instead she looked up at him. “Do you ever wish you could just forget it all for a night? Just let go and not think about all the death and responsibility.”

He huffed out a little laugh. “I don’t think that’s likely, Clarke. That I’d forget about the death and responsibility.”

She cocked her head and pulled his hand off her shoulder, not letting go. She stood up, still holding on. With her other hand she wiped off her tears, like they were at fault. “That’s not right. You should get the chance to have a little fun. Just for once.”

“I’ll have my fun when the apocalypse comes,” he said, like he was making a joke. 

She shook her head at him, pressing her lips together in a bare shadow of a smile. “You’re going to have to do better than that this time, Bellamy. You’re going to come have a drink with me.”

“With you?” His eyebrows crinkled. “We finally gonna get our drink?”

The words hit her harder than she would have thought, forcing a gasp from her. 

“Sorry,” he said.

“No. It’s okay. We’re finally going to get our drink.” And she didn’t let him argue. She pulled on his hand.

“What are we going to do with this?” He asked, gesturing at the list. 

She felt her body tense.

“No. Never mind.” He saw her reaction and waved it away. “We’re going to put it away and not look at it and hope we never have to use it. Okay? We’re just going to forget it.”

“For the night?”

He laughed and it was slightly bitter. “Sure.”

She nodded. Stuffed the list into the desk without thinking and yanked him by the hand into the hall. “Good. I think I know someone who can help us.” She led him by the hand but she didn’t have to pull anymore. He followed her. And they stopped right at Jasper.

“Why am I not surprised?” Bellamy asked. 

“Mom and Dad! Awesome. You comin’ to join the party? I feel like I never see you anymore.”

“We’re taking a little break to have some fun, Jasper. You think you can help us out?”

He smiled so wide that Clarke was happy for a minute, if she could ignore his glassy eyes… so she did. He threw one arm around each of their shoulders. “Come with me,” he said and she had to drop Bellamy’s hand. She wanted it back, but at least he’d come with her. 

Jasper lead them to a corner of the bar where he had a large canteen. He flipped over a couple of tin cups and poured a healthy portion of what looked like green swill into the them.

“What is that, Jasper? You don’t expect us to drink this do you?” Bellamy was incredulous.

Clarke’s own doubts were suddenly brushed away. She put a hand on his chest (it was so firm) and pointed a finger at him accusingly. “Oh no, Bellamy, you said you’d have some fun with me and let it all go for tonight. Just forget it all. So you have to.” She patted his chest gently one last time and dropped her hand, turning to Jasper. “This will work, right? We need to relax before we go back to stopping an apocalypse.”

“This is JUST what the doctor ordered. Jobi Tea. Niylah taught us how.”

“Jobi tea?” Bellamy eyed the swamp like stuff suspiciously. “You are not a doctor,” Bellamy grumbled.

“Doctor of FUN,” Jasper said, his grin stretching out so broad, it made that happy feeling come back to Clarke. She was glad to see him happy again. Just a little. Maybe a little was all they could have.

Clarke took the cups and held Bellamy’s out to him. “Come on, Bell,” she said, feeling suddenly shy. 

He rolled his eyes and took the cup and they clinked glasses. “To having some fucking fun,” Clarke said.

“Do you even know how to have fun, princess?” he teased.

“Oh is that a challenge?”

He snorted. “I get the feeling that challenging you to have fun is a bad idea. I believe you.”

“I’m taking it as a challenge. To having some fucking fun,” she repeated and raised her glasses to her lips, keeping eye contact with him over the rim of the cup until he did the same.

He tossed it back in one shot. So she did too. Then he grimaced. “Vile stuff.”

Clarke choked. “Jasper, what did you poison us with?”

“Here,” Jasper said and slid a couple of beakers filled to the rim with clear liquid. “To wash it down with.”

Clarke took a big sip of what she thought was water. She sputtered. It was pure moonshine. She looked up at Bellamy and his eyes were watering.

“Warn us next time, Jasper.”

“What fun is that? Besides, the jobi tea takes a while to kick in, and y’only have so long to have fun, so you’d better drink the moonshine. Oh, Riley’s started his DJ session. There’s going to be some great tunes. The boy is a wizard with some files and a sound system.”

Someone called Jasper off and he wandered away without even a goodbye, but Clarke wasn’t sorry. She turned back to Bellamy.

“Bottoms up, Blake,” she said and looked at him daring him to stop her. Then she drank the whole glass of moonshine, in one long swallow.

“Clarke, stop! You’re gonna make yourself sick drinking that so fast and I’m going to take you to your mom for alcohol poisoning it’s not going to be fun.”

Clarke shook herself at the burn as the moonshine went down. “So then I guess I win.”

“Win what?”

“At the challenge for who can be the most fun.”

“I said it wasn’t a challenge.”

“And I won.”

He glared at her and she watched the muscle tick in his jaw. She realized how close she was and how easy it would be to reach out and press her fingers against it.

But instead, he cocked his eyebrow and drank his glass down. He slammed it back on the bar. “This was a dumb idea. We’re going to regret it in the morning.”

“Maybe, but we’re supposed to have fun now, you gonna let me have fun all by my lonesome?”

Bellamy looked out into the cantina, with all the kids wasted and gestured with his chin at them. “You won’t be lonesome if you wan tot get fucked up and act the fool.”

Clarke looked out at them. “What’s wrong with a little acting the fool? Looks like fun. That’s what we’re supposed to do.” And the idea was enticing. It had been so long since she had and Bellamy was being such a grump. She almost went off to dance with them, until she caught sight of Bree, the prettiest blonde delinquent, eyeing Bellamy up and down. She pushed off of the edge of the table she was sitting on and headed towards him, like she was stalking him. Nope.

The music started up and it was good. She grabbed both of Bellamy’s hands and pulled him towards the make shift dance floor, away from Bree. “I want to do it with you Bellamy.”

“What?” he snapped.

“Act the fool. Have some fun. Come on Bellamy, dance with me.”

“I don’t dance,” he said, but he was looking down at her and there was a different light in his eyes. She felt the moonshine warm her from the inside out. She thought it was the moonshine anyway.

“Neither do I.” And then she was dancing. He didn’t move for a little while, but she felt the moonshine kick in something powerful and got a little dizzy and that’s when he pulled her closer and started to move his hips with her and she had a feeling it wasn’t really great dancing, but it felt good. And then everyone was dancing. It was loud and raucous and the music got louder and faster and pretty soon they were more jumping up and down than dancing and she didn’t care. She was laughing and everyone was yelling and the world was beautiful for the moment they had it and she tripped over her own two feet or maybe someone else’s feet and she was falling into Bellamy but he caught her.

His strong arms came up around her and she was held against his broad chest. “I got you,” he said, his voice hoarse from shouting along with everyone and a smile on his face she couldn’t remember ever seeing and she was delirious.

Without thinking, she stretched up on her toes and kissed him. 

He gasped and drew back. “Clarke!” he said, shocked. And she could not believe she did that. She pulled away from him and pushed through the crowd.

“Clarke!” he called after her, but she wouldn’t stop. How could she? How could she do that. How could she show him like that. And he was so shocked. Horrified maybe. And her heart was falling down into her chest, through her stomach, settling into her feet because he clearly didn’t love her back.

She ran down the hall and turned the corner and couldn’t go any farther, crumpling against the metal wall. The Ark spun around her and it was better that way, so she couldn’t get a handle on just how thoroughly she had just fucked everything up and how he didn’t love her. The sob broke from her chest and she had no control over it.

“Hey,” he said as he came up and pulled her into his arms. “Hey, hey.” He brushed her hair back from her face. “What’s all this?”

“I’m sorry, Bellamy. I didn’t mean to. It was too much moonshine. You were right it was a bad idea and it made me tell you how I feel about you and you were horrified and what did I do?”

“When did you tell me how you feel about me?” He asked. And she looked up at him. She saw stars in his eyes. Like the stars she used to see from the observation deck in GoSci. Bright and burning.

“I told you. And you pulled back like I bit you.”

“Those weren’t words, Clarke,” he said and smiled down on her. When had he pressed her up against the wall? He wiped her tears away. The broken sobs had turned to gasping breaths because the muscles of his chest were swelling against her breasts every time he took a breath. And his breaths were so deep like the ocean waves. She was petting his chest as it swelled and broke against her. 

“What were they then, Bellamy?”

He smiled, closed mouth, just the corners turning up, like a sliver moon. “They were your lips.”

“My lips?” she didn’t remember, no she did. 

“Uh huh,” he said, “Like this,” and then he was kissing her, and the stars from his eyes exploded inside her head. His lips were so soft against hers, his tongue was hot and insistent. 

“Oh I remember,” she said. “Those were the words,” as he slid his lips down her jaw, down her neck. “I love you were what those words said.”

He stopped kissing her pulse. He pulled up and looked at her. “You love me?”

“Of course I do. Did you know your hair is like the night sky?”

“Of course you do?”

She laughed and pulled his head down so she could kiss his eyelids. First one then the other. “So much.”

“I love you too,” 

“I know that.” She kissed the dimple in his chin, let her tongue taste it. He shivered. She smiled.

“How do you know that?”

“You just said it.”

“When?”

“With your lips,” she said, and ran her finger tips lightly down her neck to her pulse, where the words had entered into her bloodstream. “Here.”

His fingers followed the path hers had taken, but didn’t stop there and traveled down her chest between her breasts to stop at her heart. The stayed there pressing love into her. She breathed deeply.

“Will you come to my room with me?” Bellamy said, his voice husky.

“Of course,” she said, and he took her hand and lead her down the halls. His steps got slower and slower. 

“Are we still on the Ark?” He asked.

“Of course, where else? Space?” For a second she wondered if they were, because she thought the ceiling was lit in constellations.

“I think we’re in the woods, when we first came down in the drop ship, when it was summer, and it was so warm and there were green and growing things everywhere. And everything was golden lit and we’d never seen the sun through the sky. Do you remember?”

“Yes,” she sighed and realized they had stopped in the hall outside his room.

He raised a hand and touched her hair so lightly. “You are like that sun. So warm and bright and golden. You’re like the summer.”

His eyes sparkled down on her and she felt like the sun inside. “Oh,” she said. “I think it’s the jobi nuts. We’re hallucinating.”

“Ah,” he said. “That makes sense. So you don’t love me.”

She gasped. “No! I mean. Yes!. I do. I’ve loved you for so long.”

“You had a funny way of showing it. Leaving.”

She could feel his pain and it was bright and sharp, like an ember. “Will you let me show you now?”

“Only if you mean it. Only if it’s real and not just moonshine and jobi nuts.”

“God Bellamy, it’s real.” She reached back and opened his door and pulled him in to his room. She crowded him back, pulling his shirt over his head and starting on his belt buckle. She pushed him onto the bed and got his boots off although it made them both laugh when the knots got stuck. And then he was only in his briefs and she was pulling off her own shirt and then her bra and she needed him now so she climbed on top of him, kissing him deep and long, raking her hands up and down his muscles, desperate to show him, desperate to prove—

“No.” 

She froze. Pushed off of his chest. She was still siting astride his hips and she moved to get off. He grabbed her thigh. “No,” he said again. Softer. “That isn’t what I wanted to know. That isn’t how.”

She shook her head confused. The stars were caught in his hair now, not just his eyes. He was a star field, that dazzling, that powerful. 

He surged up to kiss her but when his lips met hers, they were gentle, his tongue fluttered over them like a butterfly, one of the glowing ones, and his fingers slipped down through her hair to her neck. “Like this,” he murmured against her lips. And he wrapped his arms around her and turned her so he could carry her down onto the bed. She kept her legs wrapped around his hips, but this time he pressed into her and she groaned at the contact.

“Shh,” he said. “Not yet. Let me show you how I feel.” And every time she tried to speed him up, to grind against him or reach for him, he slowed her down, until she was slow as he was. And instead of wanting something else that they didn’t have yet, he showed her how good right now could be. These finger tips swiping over her collar bone, that tongue tasting the ridges of his ribs. This whisper making her shiver. These stars that still shone from his eyes. Those fingers wrapped into the strands of her hair as he kissed her so long and soft that she forgot she had bones or things to do or anything but love for this man right here. Right now. Eternal. 

It went on for hours and by the time they finally panted their release, wrapped up inside of each other, it was as if they were one person, stars and sun, the word love expressed in fingers and lips and sighs and pants. And they fell asleep entwined in each others limbs.

When they woke up, the sun was coming through Bellamy’s window. 

She woke up first, but only with enough time to remember, and she remembered everything, and wonder. His eyes fluttered open soon after. No stars left in them. But somehow she still saw them.

“Clarke?” he asked, uncertain. 

“Bellamy? Are you feeling okay?”

“The jobi nut tea,” he said, guilt ran over his face and he shifted.

She suddenly realized she was naked pressed up against him. And she liked it. She was emboldened by the night that she remembered so clearly and still was strangely like a dream. She reached up to cup her hand around the back of his neck and pulled him close to her for a kiss. Not to start something up, just to tell him, just like last night, how she felt.

“It wasn’t just the jobi nut tea.”

She didn’t intend to start anything, but suddenly he was kissing her back and rolling her over and his hands roving over her skin were bringing her to the brink faster than she thought possible. 

It was quite a while before their limbs had stopped shaking enough to dress and head out of Bellamy’s room for the meeting that came too early this morning. 

“Neither of us thought of that stupid meeting being so early in the morning when we went to Jasper to help us forget things,” Bellamy said as he closed his door behind them. 

She pressed up against his side. “And I’m glad,” she whispered into his ear. She felt the shiver that went through him at that and was just happy to have his arm hold her close. Happy that they were finally here, no matter what came next.

“Well I see the jobi nut tea worked.” They looked up to see Niylah standing there, a basket on her hip and a smile on her face to match the one in her voice. “They are powerful magic.”

Bellamy stiffened. Clarke put a palm on his chest. “Magic?” she said.

“Magic. Medicine. That’s what we call it. It’s healing. If you’re holding onto something, it lets it out. If you’re keeping something inside, it frees you.”  
She cocked her head, looking at them, her smile deepening. “You’re both free now. It makes me happy.” She leaned forward and hugged them both, one handed. 

“We’re happy too,” Bellamy said. Niylah let them go and Clarke turned to him, surprised. “Right?” he asked her after looking at her face.

She nodded, feeling it all the way to her toes. “Yes.”


End file.
